Asking a Woman Out

Once you’ve mastered the blueprint for flirting, you’ll start seeing many opportunities to ask your woman out on a date.  Whether you met online or offline, asking her out is an important step that you’ll want to master.

Here are a few tips:

  • Don’t ask a woman out until you’re relatively certain she’s going to say yes.  Keep flirting until you can tell that she’s attracted to you and comfortable with you.
  • If you happen to have a pre-existing relationship with her (friends, co-workers, etc.), make it 100% explicitly clear that this is a romantic date.  It’s better to have her say no than be stuck in an ambiguous friend zone.
  • Ask her out for a specific day and time.  The activity can be as simple as “let’s get a drink” – though my next post will talk about planning an excellent date.
  • When you invite her out, make it clear that you have an active social calendar (which you should!) but that you’re interested in seeing her:
  • “I’m going to a gallery opening on Thursday and seeing a movie with friends on Saturday, but if you’re free on Friday or Sunday we should grab a drink….”
    • Use suggestions rather than questions when you’re asking a woman out – it communicates that you’re leading and not begging:
    • Using “Let’s”:    “If you’re free Thursday night, let’s go to the….”
    • Using “We should:  “I know you mentioned cooking this weekend.  If you’re not exhausted by being Martha Stewart, we should go to…on Sunday.”
      • She might be busy on the day you propose.  If she’s interested in seeing you, she’ll often propose another date.  This is a good sign.
      • If she doesn’t propose another date, flirt more (over the course of another day or two) before you invite her out again.
      • If she is always busy and never proposes a new date, it’s best to ask her feelings outright:  “Hey, you seem cool and I’d like us to hang out and get to know each other better.  But you seem busy. Are you interested in hanging out?”  If she says yes, you can ask her, “What’s the best way to make this happen?”  Then she’s participating in the invitation.  If she says no, then you’ve clarified your situation and can move on.
      • Once she accepts the date, send her a reminder the day before that’s fun:  “When I see you tomorrow night, I expect us to run into each other’s arms like the ending of a romantic movie.  Anything less will be very disappointing.”

With these tips, you should be successfully asking women out to set up dates.  In my next post, I’ll be talking about how to plan a date that you’ll both remember.