Creating Stories Women Find Interesting

Earlier, I wrote about how women enjoy personal storytelling and how to make your life story-worthy.  Today, I’d like to give you some specific templates for turning your own experiences into three types of stories that women find irresistible.

The “Fun Experience” Story

You should have a number of these in your back pocket at all times.  Whether you’re flirting online or offline, it’s easy to transition into these stories simply by saying, “I recently did something you have to hear about!  Regardless of what the previous conversation was, it’s an effective transition in most social situations.

Your template for the “Fun Experience” story is simple:

  1. I recently did something you have to hear about.
  2. Here’s what it was.
  3. Here’s what I took from it.
  4. You might like it.

For instance:

“I recently tried a CrossFit class for the first time.  I really like to work out in the gym and everyone has been talking about Crossfit so I decided to give it a shot.  I can’t remember the last time I sweat like that!  It pushed my body to new limits and my mind as well; I had to keep telling myself to keep going and not give up so it was great mental and physical training.  The endorphin rush that I got when I was done was like nothing else – I felt proud of myself and physically drained.  Have you ever tried a class? 

The “Strange Thing Happened” Story

This is a good type of story for when you want to lighten the mood a bit, maybe after you’ve just discussed something heartfelt and want to get back to laughing together.

Your template for this is simple:

  1. There I was…minding my own business.
  2. This strange thing happened and I tried to make sense of it.
  3. It turned out like this.
  4. I guess the lesson is…

For example:
“I was once standing in a subway station in New York waiting for a train. I saw a guy swipe into the subway and just throw his Metrocard onto the ground.  He littered right onto the ground. But he saw me looking at him and he looked away in shame.  But I kept looking at him with a calm expression on my face.  We made eye contact again.  And after a few seconds, he stopped – STOPPED – turned around, went back, picked it up, and threw it away.  How crazy is that?  I guess sometimes people’s best nature wins out.  It was awesome.  I feel like I stopped crime with my mind.”

The “Tiny Pleasure” Story

Women, like all of us, enjoy sensual pleasures in life:  food, drink, dancing, etc.  They also want to know that you enjoy them, too.

Your template for this is simple:

  1. I think one of the best pleasures in life is…
  2. So I pursued it.
  3. Here’s what I took from it.
  4. You might like it.

For instance:
“I’ve got a rule in my life:  I give myself permission to enjoy whatever it is I like.  I’ve learned this through a personal wine project:  I try a new wine every week with Sunday dinner. I’ve only been at this three months but I’ve now had 12 Malbecs.  I’ve developed my own taste.  I’m like Anthony Bourdain of Malbecs now.

Along the way, I learned one major thing:  your own pleasure is a better guide than any expert.  In certain areas of life, you have to be confident enough to ignore what people say you should want and let your pleasure drive your decisions.”

Two Notes about Constructing Stories

You’ll notice two things about each of the above stories.  First, they’re not simple statements of fact.  Think about how much richer they are than simply saying “I did archery last week and it was cool” or “I like Malbec.”  Instead, they take their time and reveal background about you: what you do with your friends, your relationship with your father, how you eat Sunday dinner, your willingness to do what’s right when you see someone littering.  There are times in flirting when women would like a gentleman to speak about the interesting parts of his life – at length, for minutes at a time – so that they can get to know him.  One liners don’t achieve that.

Second, you’ll notice that there’s an element of interpretation in these stories.  There are life lessons to be learned from archery, from wine tasting, and from random events.  Being able to interpret – and talk about – things in life (without being obnoxious) is a key flirting skill I’ll be talking about more soon.